Day 7: Six Successes For This Week That Make You Happy

Wow! This week has been a great one hasn't it? You have learned so much about yourself and how wonderful you are and your life is too.  Instead of being in your quiet spot, you can sit at a desk or the kitchen table, anywhere you have space to write on a blank piece of paper with your journal next to it. The paper can be any color and you can use any kind of pencil, pen or marker for today’s project.  Look at everything you wrote in your journal this week, hopefully each line brings a smile to you.  Read over all you wrote over the past six days in your journal; find one thing from each day that makes you happy when you read it.  When you have found the six things that you like, write them down on the blank piece of paper.  Use a different color of pencil, pen or marker for each thought.  Draw hearts, smiley faces, anything you want to decorate the page that will make you happy when you look at it.  When you are done writing the six things down on the paper, read them aloud, you can even share them with your mom or dad.  When you have finished with reading them aloud, take the paper and put it somewhere you can look at it each morning next week.  You want to be able to read them before you leave the house every day.  Good job on being a wonderful you this week, next week is going to be even better!

Day 6: Finding Love In Your Heart

Think about your day and all of the wonderful things that have happened today. Take four more deep breaths, hold them for the count of three and then let them go. If you have any sad thoughts or memories of something that may have gone wrong today, let them go with each breath.  Think about this past week of all you have learned about yourself and realize that the things that make you sad don’t matter. You have so many wonderful things that make you who you are that mistakes, hurtful words, or things that go wrong don’t define you.  They happen once in a while and it’s okay to recognize the sadness for a moment, and then we just let them go and find happier things to enjoy.  Find your spot to focus on, whether it is on the wall, the ceiling or on an object, it doesn’t matter. Clear your mind and at the same time take your right hand and place it on your chest above where you believe your heart is located.  Close your eyes and imagine you are able to feel your heart beating in your hand. Quietly breathe in and out and just focus on your heart beating.  Now think of how much love you have in your heart. Start listing in your mind everything you love, your parents, foster parents, brothers, sisters, grandparents, friends, pets, anyone or anything that you can think of which makes your heart feel good when you think of them.  Now that you have the things (or people) in your mind, write them down in your journal and explain why you love them.  This is different than saying you are grateful for someone like you wrote on Day 2, this is loving someone. You can be grateful that someone is in your life and love them too, but right now we are focusing on how your heart is so happy when you think of this person or thing.  After you have written down at least three people, pets or things, then read the list aloud to yourself.  Can you feel the love inside of you right now as you are saying the names of those you love? Draw a heart by each name so you remember that you love them and they make your heart happy. Before you go to sleep tonight, lie in your bed and say the names of those you love out loud one more time. This way you can fall asleep thinking about how much love you have inside you.

Day 5: The Things You Like About You

Today let’s focus on you.  You are a unique and one-of-a-kind individual that is unlike anyone else. You may have been told you have your mom’s eyes, or your dad’s curly hair, or you are tall like your grandfather. Those are traits that are inherited; however, who you are is totally your design. You create the person on the inside, your personality. Write three things in your journal that you like about yourself. You can write something that you inherited from your parents, like the color of your hair. It can be how well you play sports, do math problems, or draw pictures. It could be your smile, your laugh, or how kind you are to people. The important thing is that these should be three things you really like about yourself.  Once you have written them in your journal go back and read them aloud several times. You want to be able to recall these whenever you are sad or hurting.  Now that you have read them aloud, go back and write “I am awesome” next to each one, because you really are awesome!

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Day 4: Remembering and Enjoying Family Time

Today, you will need to set time with either of your parents to spend some time with you.  If you can find pictures of you as a baby or when you were little, have those with you while you talk with your mom or dad.  Talk about what things you remember when you were little, and what is your parent’s favorite memory of you. Have your parent tell you something special about the day you were born, or adopted or placed into your family's home. What is a favorite trip or vacation that you did with your family? Were you at the beach, a museum, hiking, flying in a commercial airplane, driving long distances in your car, camping or skiing? Talk about sporting events that you either participated in or watched as a family and what you liked about it.  Talk about a movie, play, music concert, dance performance, or any other event that you liked. This is a time to remember fun things that you have done as a family and about happy memories you have of when you were younger.  While you are with your parent, get your journal out and write down three things that you talked about today.  Draw a smiley face by each, so you remember this happy moment and the happy moments of your past.

Day 3: The People Who Love You Just the Way Are

Today think about three people you know love you just the way you are right at this very minute.  This is called unconditional love, they love you for who you are and don’t mind if you are silly once in a while or if you knock over your milk at the dinner table. They know you are wonderful and love everything about you.  This can be your mom, dad, grandparents, foster parents, brother, sister, aunt, uncle, best friend, anyone you know loves you.  Write down in your journal their names and then go ask them to tell you why they love you so much. They may live somewhere far away, so ask your mom or dad if you can call them and then have them tell you why they love you.  Make sure you write exactly what they say so you can reflect on their answers over the next few weeks. The best way to stand up to being bullied is to remember that there are people who love you and would never say hurtful things to you. Once you write down their answer, go back and read it again. Then write “I love you, too” next to each response. That will remind you that giving love is just as wonderful as receiving it. Before you go to sleep tonight, lie in your bed and say the positive comments out loud one more time. This way you can fall asleep thinking about how much you are loved.

Day 2: Things That You Are Thankful For

Think about three things that you are grateful for right now. It could be your pet, your parents, your best friend, your bike, your room, or your shoes, anything that you are thankful you have in your life that makes you happy. You can even be grateful for the dinner you had tonight or remembering to finish that homework assignment that is due tomorrow! Write these three things down in your journal, such as I am grateful for my dog Spot because he makes me feel safe when I am alone in the house. Or you can write I am grateful for the macaroni and cheese we had for dinner tonight because it is my favorite. You can write that you are grateful to live in a house where you are warm in the winter and cool in the hot summer. Anything that you are thankful for that you have in your life right now.  Make sure to write why you are grateful for whatever it is you put in your journal. That helps your mind really hold onto that thought. If you only write I am thankful for my new shoes, your brain won’t remember why you are grateful for your shoes. Writing the full sentence will help you see all of the things you have been given each day. Read the sentences out loud to yourself. Now write the words “thank you” next to each one.  This will help you realize how many wonderful things are in your life and be thankful for each one.

1.    Find a quiet, comfortable spot.

2.    Practice your breathing exercises.

3.    Think of three things you are grateful for right now.

4.    Write these three things down in your journal.

5.    Write why you are grateful for these three things in your journal.

6.    Read them out loud to yourself.

Day 1: What Makes You Happy

Play your day back in your mind, just like watching a video.  What do you like about your day? Think of three things that went well today, it could be that you made a new friend at school, you received a good grade on your homework, your soccer coach gave you a compliment on your efforts today at practice, your pet came up to you when you got home and gave you love, or your mom had your favorite snack waiting in the kitchen for you when you got home.  It can be anything that makes you smile when you think about it.  Get your journal and pencil out and write down the three things that went well or made you happy about today.  After you have written down the three things, go back and read them again, you can read them out loud or quietly in your mind, whatever you like.  Think to yourself, what makes you happy about these three things?  Is it because you worked hard and someone complimented you on your efforts? Is it because you were nice or smiled at someone that you now have as a new friend? Is it because someone loves you and knows what will make you happy when you get home?  Next to the line of what went well or makes you happy, write something positive about yourself. It could be, “I am smart”, “I worked hard”, “I am good at sports”, “I am kind”, or “I am loved”.  Read the line once again and say the positive comment after it.  Remember that you are the reason that these things bring you happiness.

Before you go to sleep tonight, lie in your bed and say the positive comments out loud one more time, so you can fall asleep thinking about happy things.

Week 1: Discovering You

This first week will be spent reflecting on what you already know about yourself and what you like about your life right now. Before you start writing or thinking or doing anything on this journey of finding a happier version of you, find a quiet and comfortable spot that you enjoy being in. This could be sitting on your bed in your room, curled up in the most comfortable chair in the house, or lying on the floor in the family room. This should be someplace quiet, where you can sit without any other noise, people, pets, friends, phones, computers or anything else that can distract you.

Comfortable?  Good, now close your eyes; try not to think of any of the day’s activities, or your homework or anything else that might keep you from relaxing.  Now take a super deep breath in, and hold it while you count down from 3 to 0 in your mind. When you hit 0, blow all of your breath out, as much as you can.  To get the idea of how to do the breathing, think of blowing a balloon full of air, one that is so big you can barely get one arm around it once it is filled with your breath. Now in your mind, imagine holding the balloon up so you can see it full of air. What color of balloon do you see? It could be red, or blue, or green or yellow, any color that you like. Now, imagine letting go of the balloon, and pretend it is traveling around the room as all of the air is released from it until it collapses on the floor in front of you. 

Keeping the thought of the balloon in your mind, take a deep breath in again, hold it while you once again count down in your mind from 3 to 0. Exhale your breath again, trying to be as empty as the balloon you just imagined.  Good job.  Now breathe that same way two more times.  You should feel relaxed now and ready to begin. 

Every day before you start the next activity, make sure you stop and practice breathing with your eyes closed in a quiet spot.  This helps your body relax and your mind become alert and active.  You can think of it as removing all of the extra noise in your thoughts so you can just focus on the exercises for each day. If it helps, imagine that you are deleting words on a document so you have a blank page to begin working with in your mind. 

Be Your Own Hero by Deciding Who You Are

You are the creator of who you are and you decide what kind of person you will be each day. By developing self-confidence and feeling good about yourself you become a stronger and more assured person. This book will help you in learning about you, about letting go of negative feelings and how to prevent others from hurting you. Learning how to have confidence, love the person that you are, as well as loving other people, are the main points of the three weeks outlined in this book.  Each day you will sit down in a quiet place and discover things about you that make you feel confident and comfortable with yourself. As you think about each day’s activities and journal entries, you might be tempted to dwell on negative or bad things that have happened during your day or from the past. It is okay to recognize bad things happen to everyone and sometimes you may feel sad or upset, however, this journey is to focus on the good things in life and the amazing things about you! So let go of the negative feelings that you may have and look for the happy and wonderful things of each day.

I recommend getting a journal so you can write down your thoughts and feelings; it is important that you use the journal and actually write things down.  It has been shown in medical studies that writing about your emotions (feelings and thoughts) helps reduce stress and overcome unhappy feelings.  So find a pen or pencil, and let’s get ready to write!

Please note: This is an active process, in order to learn how to focus on who you are and find joy in your life; it requires that you dedicate time and energy to participating.  That means less time playing video games or watching television or movies. There is a very important reason for less time on these activities; they do all of your imagination and thinking for you. It has been shown that the human mind goes into a receptive nonparticipating state when engaging in these activities.  As you start the learning process toward joy and self-confidence for these next few weeks, reduce the amount of time you participate in video games, television and movies.  Your mind will thank you and you will quickly begin to see the growth of joy and peace within you.